Ashley was running late, standing in her bedroom with damp hair wondering if four layers plus a coat would be enough. It is Fashion Week in New York and her new internship at Milk Studios is causing a lot of anxiety. Not because she is intimidated, but because she is already dreading the 20-degree weather that she will have to stand in for hours with a clipboard, wielding all the power.
Ashley Palucci is a slim, blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl with an affinity for lifting tension in the room by making uncomfortable jokes and making herself seem more awkward than everyone else feels. She is constantly described by friends as goofy and shy while simultaneously somehow outgoing.
February 12, 2011 and Milk studios is buzzing with a cornucopia of important names. Ashley stands at the door smiling sheepishly while being bribed to let thousands of important persons and their uninvited friends into the Vice Magazine party. A woman walks up and says, "Hi my name is Susan Jones and I’m head of Public Relations at ALDO. If you need ANYTHING at all, just email me with the style and where to ship them. Anything just let me know. Those are just a few of my friends standing right over there."
"Wow, thanks that is So sweet of you!" says Ashley, as the woman glides through the door behind her. Not until 15 minutes later does kind-hearted and timid Ashley realize that she is being goaded to let 6 girls in to the party that are clearly not on the list, and were extremely rude just moments before. She waits 10 minutes and gives the group of Aldo-ites the go ahead.
I like how this begins--with Ashley in a moment of tension: it is gripping as an intro, and I thought it would have been better to keep the style going throughout. The tone seems to shift from that tense "I'm late!" feeling to a more light, awkward-but-not-funny feeling that is not as strong as your Capote-esque intro and conclusion.
ReplyDeleteI love the dialogue between her and the PR lady-- it could have also been very Capote by putting that earlier and her realization about the bribery much later, as he often reveals plot details out of chronological order in In Cold Blood, creating suspense and prolonging intrigue. He dramatizes conversations by only revealing a few of the important details at a time.